1 00:00:02,069 --> 00:00:04,870 ♪ It seems today that all you see 2 00:00:04,938 --> 00:00:08,207 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV 3 00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:11,843 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values 4 00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:14,946 ♪ On which we used to rely? 5 00:00:15,016 --> 00:00:18,283 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy 6 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:21,620 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do 7 00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:23,354 ♪ All the things that make us 8 00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:24,890 ♪ Laugh and cry 9 00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:30,061 ♪ He's a family guy ♪ 10 00:00:37,137 --> 00:00:39,315 Oh, this is a big moment for Stewie. 11 00:00:39,339 --> 00:00:40,972 Big moment? 12 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,186 Come on, Lois, he's moving from the green room to the purple room. 13 00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:44,687 And just last month, we had to come here 14 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,456 when he went into the green room from the yellow room. 15 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:47,946 Oh, don't remind me. 16 00:00:48,014 --> 00:00:50,282 I'm gonna start crying all over again. 17 00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:53,919 I told work he was getting dialysis, so I got the whole day off. 18 00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:56,655 Stewie Griffin, welcome to the purple room. 19 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,763 Aw! 20 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,493 Wow, look at that. 21 00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:04,829 This must be how the Tin Man felt when he finally got his heart. 22 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,798 And as for you, Tin Man, 23 00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:09,067 a 19-year-old kid in Cincinnati 24 00:01:09,136 --> 00:01:11,403 was struck by a drunk driver last night. 25 00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:14,239 And so, you've got your heart. 26 00:01:14,308 --> 00:01:15,785 You know, it's kind of hitting me now 27 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:18,077 that maybe I was thinking more metaphorically. 28 00:01:18,145 --> 00:01:19,344 Oh, no. 29 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,481 You said you wanted a heart over and over again. 30 00:01:22,550 --> 00:01:24,683 You sang that whole song about it. 31 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:27,453 We bumped you right up to the top of the donor list. 32 00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:29,754 Which means there's a father of three in Nebraska 33 00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:32,157 who, now, has a very little chance 34 00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:34,493 of receiving one within the next 24 hours. 35 00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,797 So feel good about that. 36 00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:41,032 Now, who wanted the brain? 37 00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:51,509 "And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept, 38 00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:53,678 "for there were no more worlds to conquer." 39 00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:55,191 All right, take it down a notch, Stewie. 40 00:01:55,215 --> 00:01:57,227 You just happen to be the offspring of a generation 41 00:01:57,251 --> 00:01:58,995 that celebrates their kids for nothing. 42 00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:00,563 Everybody's always getting an award. 43 00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:02,087 Well, you've never gotten an award. 44 00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:05,123 Uh, what's that bowl that says "good boy"? 45 00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:06,752 You know, that was our old dog's dish. 46 00:02:08,329 --> 00:02:09,628 Hey, how are you? 47 00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:11,408 I was just putting this cake in my purse for a friend. 48 00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:13,443 Listen, you probably get asked this 49 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,534 all the time, but have you ever modeled? 50 00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:17,769 I've never even been in a picture before. 51 00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:19,582 Well, I don't just shoot school events. 52 00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:22,385 My real passion is discovering talent like yours. 53 00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:24,142 Really? You think I could model? 54 00:02:24,211 --> 00:02:25,955 Sure. You've got a great look. 55 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:29,392 Here's my number. Give me a call if you're interested. 56 00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:31,449 Wow, me being a model. 57 00:02:31,518 --> 00:02:33,718 I mean, I guess crazier things have happened. 58 00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:37,589 Heh-hoo! 59 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:44,429 We now return to Rocky Dennis the Menace. 60 00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:48,299 What the hell? 61 00:02:48,368 --> 00:02:49,801 Oh, it's you. 62 00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:52,604 My wife said I'm not allowed to get mad at you anymore. 63 00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:54,751 All right, see you later. 64 00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:56,041 Where are you off to? 65 00:02:56,110 --> 00:02:59,010 Actually, I met a photographer at Stewie's school yesterday, 66 00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:01,399 and he wants me to model for him. 67 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:06,884 Lois, please send these back to the factory. I believe they're defective. 68 00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:09,532 Oh, my God, Peter, did you just rip your own ears off? 69 00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:13,558 It was the easiest way to let her know the news was ridiculous. 70 00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:16,706 You know, it would be nice if you guys believed in me just once. 71 00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:18,408 You're being terrible parents. 72 00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:20,632 Even worse than John Edwards. 73 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,366 Kids, we need to talk. 74 00:03:22,435 --> 00:03:23,935 Your mama has cancer. 75 00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:26,071 And it's made me incredibly horny. 76 00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:27,139 Take care. 77 00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:33,590 You know, Brian, I gave some thought 78 00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:34,791 to what you said the other day, 79 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,147 and I realized you're right. 80 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,617 Moving to the purple room is not an achievement. 81 00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:39,829 Stewie, what are you doing here? 82 00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:41,531 I asked Peter to read my manuscript, 83 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,266 and he said he had to take you to dialysis. 84 00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:44,522 Anyway, you got me thinking. 85 00:03:44,591 --> 00:03:46,958 I've spent my entire life in that ivory tower, 86 00:03:47,026 --> 00:03:49,694 learning from pop-up books and animal sound machines, 87 00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:52,097 instead of actually experiencing the world. 88 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:54,299 That's why I got this. 89 00:03:54,367 --> 00:03:58,069 I'm gonna take a year off, hit the open road and live life to the fullest. 90 00:03:58,138 --> 00:04:00,049 You're a baby. How'd you afford a car? 91 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,740 Don't worry, I got a great price on it. 92 00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:04,409 You know how good I am at making a deal. 93 00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:06,811 All right, I have $50 for the first person 94 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,147 with a paper clip and rouge in their purse. 95 00:04:09,216 --> 00:04:11,149 Ooh, ooh! Monty, Monty! 96 00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:13,117 Paper clip and rouge! Paper clip and rouge! 97 00:04:13,187 --> 00:04:14,387 Why do you have rouge? 98 00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:15,831 I don't know, it's been in the purse for ages. 99 00:04:15,855 --> 00:04:16,999 Why do you have a purse? 100 00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:19,424 For the paper clips and rouge, you idiot! 101 00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:21,193 What are you gonna buy with that $50? 102 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,301 Purses and rouge! 103 00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:30,112 Sorry to use your bathroom so much. 104 00:04:30,136 --> 00:04:31,570 I'm just really nervous. 105 00:04:31,638 --> 00:04:33,538 You have nothing to be nervous about. 106 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,106 This is gonna be fun. 107 00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:37,408 Okay, well, here goes. 108 00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:42,025 All right, Meg, while we take these, 109 00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:43,759 we can either play Freeze Frame 110 00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,428 or She Works Hard for the Money. 111 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:46,551 Which would you prefer? 112 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:47,719 Can we play both? 113 00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,466 Sure. 114 00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:52,758 ♪ She works hard for the money 115 00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:56,327 ♪ So hard for it, honey 116 00:04:56,396 --> 00:04:59,964 ♪ She works hard for the money So you better... ♪ 117 00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,766 Well, that was a stupid idea. 118 00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:03,802 But you, you were phenomenal. 119 00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:05,436 You really think so? 120 00:05:05,505 --> 00:05:06,738 Here, have a look. 121 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,567 I think these turned out great. 122 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,880 Wait, Ben, are they all of my feet? 123 00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:17,215 Well, Meg, the thing is... 124 00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:18,850 My name's Evan, by the way. 125 00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:21,586 A lot of people will pay good money for pictures of sexy feet. 126 00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:24,122 Foot-fetish porn sites are a huge business. 127 00:05:24,191 --> 00:05:25,835 But when you asked me to model, 128 00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:27,637 I thought you meant real modeling. 129 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:30,828 This is real modeling. And you could be our next big star. 130 00:05:30,897 --> 00:05:33,264 Really? I don't know. 131 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,999 Come on, it could be great. 132 00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:36,468 You'll meet lots of famous people. 133 00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:37,668 Like Charles Barkley. 134 00:05:37,737 --> 00:05:40,472 Hi, Meg. You have nice feetses. 135 00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:42,051 I want to put 'em both in my mouth 136 00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:44,909 and then make a slapping sound on my bald head with 'em. 137 00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:46,498 We have a tranq gun if he gets rough. 138 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,853 ♪ Highway run 139 00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:58,222 ♪ Into the midnight sun... ♪ 140 00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,070 Meg, why are you home so early? 141 00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:03,006 Yeah, I thought you were doing your modeling thing. 142 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:05,597 I was. But what... What's happening here? 143 00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:07,143 Well, not that it's any of your business, Meg, 144 00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:09,913 but this is why we've been married as long as we have. 145 00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:11,603 We do things together. 146 00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:13,450 You think 20 years just happens? 147 00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:14,706 No, it does not. 148 00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:16,419 Now, tell us fast about your nonsense, 149 00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:18,120 so I can plow your mother on the staircase. 150 00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:19,856 Yeah, what kind of photoshoot was it? 151 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,123 Did they take a picture of you eating 152 00:06:21,147 --> 00:06:23,715 a whole pizza pie next to an astonished chef? 153 00:06:25,518 --> 00:06:28,052 Actually, Evan thinks I'm a natural 154 00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:30,755 and that I'm gonna be a huge success. 155 00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:32,790 He thinks I could be a famous model. 156 00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:33,925 You, famous? 157 00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:35,594 Oh, come on, Meg. 158 00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:37,973 Your only chance at fame would've been as the dog on Frasier. 159 00:06:37,997 --> 00:06:40,865 Well, of course I respect my father. He's a vet. 160 00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:42,133 Woof! 161 00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,301 Not that kind of vet. 162 00:06:48,775 --> 00:06:51,075 So, where exactly are we going anyway? 163 00:06:51,145 --> 00:06:52,677 Brian, I think the road has a way 164 00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,179 of telling you where you're going. 165 00:06:56,849 --> 00:06:59,684 There. Rhode Island Folk Festival. 166 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,252 The road has spoken. 167 00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:03,165 Huh, that actually sounds kind of fun. 168 00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:05,924 See, Brian? This trip's already off to a great start. 169 00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:07,659 Certainly better than that retreat 170 00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:09,994 we went on with the Quahog Baptist Choir. 171 00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:13,665 Why don't we show our visitors how we sing what we see, y'all? 172 00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:17,001 ♪Sing what we see, sing what we see ♪ 173 00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,614 Brother Roscoe, what do you see? 174 00:07:18,638 --> 00:07:20,783 ♪ Oh, I see a Howard Johnson's billboard 175 00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:22,374 ♪ Sing what you see 176 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,687 ♪ Uh-huh An old red barn that needs a paint job 177 00:07:24,711 --> 00:07:26,723 ♪ Sing what you see ♪ Oh, yeah 178 00:07:26,747 --> 00:07:28,680 ♪ Boy in a truck too young to drive 179 00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:30,214 ♪ Sing what you see ♪ 180 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,049 Brian! Oh, uh, uh... 181 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,918 Car? 182 00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:35,119 Come on. 183 00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:38,256 Let's just see what we see and keep it to ourselves. 184 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,073 Hey, Evan. 185 00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,663 Oh, good, Meg, you're here. 186 00:07:45,732 --> 00:07:48,633 Grab a pair of dirty socks and meet me by the tub of dead mice. 187 00:07:48,701 --> 00:07:50,402 Actually, Evan, 188 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:51,914 I've been thinking about this, 189 00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:54,384 and I'm not sure being a foot-fetish model is for me. 190 00:07:54,408 --> 00:07:56,107 What? You can't quit. 191 00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:57,642 You're an overnight sensation. 192 00:07:57,710 --> 00:07:58,790 I am? 193 00:08:01,914 --> 00:08:04,582 You got 35,000 views in one night. 194 00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,491 And none of them got past the fourth picture. 195 00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:08,519 What does that mean? Oh... 196 00:08:08,588 --> 00:08:10,688 They love you. And look at these comments. 197 00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:12,990 "Who is this?" "She's beautiful." 198 00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:14,459 A bunch of anti-Muslim stuff. 199 00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:15,560 "Great feet." 200 00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:16,861 You're a hit, Meg. 201 00:08:16,929 --> 00:08:19,289 Wow. That's... That's amazing. 202 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,176 It's not often that anyone says 203 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,178 anything nice about any part of me. 204 00:08:23,202 --> 00:08:26,337 But still, I don't know. It's porn. 205 00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:28,017 I never thought I'd do porn. 206 00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:30,008 I understand your apprehension, Meg. 207 00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:33,011 That's why I'm going to confuse you by calling it erotica. 208 00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:35,446 And besides, think about all your fans. 209 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,526 I guess when you put it that way, 210 00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:41,185 I wouldn't want to let down Drizzlefoot321. 211 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,800 You really think I can do it, Evan? 212 00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:45,356 Of course you can. 213 00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:48,093 Sometimes people just need a little encouragement to succeed, 214 00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:50,761 like Jason Biggs got from his grandfather. 215 00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:53,898 Jason, I want you to promise me one thing. 216 00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:56,467 Always be forgettable. 217 00:08:57,937 --> 00:08:59,070 I will, Grandpa. 218 00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:04,408 Hey, that's just a regular, unattractive guy who's not famous. 219 00:09:04,477 --> 00:09:05,610 We did it, Grandpa. 220 00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,190 What are you doing? 221 00:09:19,258 --> 00:09:22,618 It's 18 and older, Brian. If I want to get in, I need to look the part. 222 00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:25,041 I've also been working on my banter. 223 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,442 Like, in case somebody bumps into me. 224 00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:27,898 "Oh, no worries, bro." 225 00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:29,812 Stewie, there's a lot of sex and drugs at these things. 226 00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:31,880 You sure you're ready for this? Of course I am. 227 00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:34,144 I'm tired of living my life in a tiny little box, 228 00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:36,374 like some sort of claustrophobic turtle. 229 00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:38,109 Aah! Aah! 230 00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:43,080 He scare inside, he scare outside. 231 00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:44,350 Uh-huh. 232 00:09:47,554 --> 00:09:49,387 Okay, Brian, the key to these things is 233 00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:51,322 to find a good position to sit on the ground. 234 00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:53,302 Yeah, cool, I got that blanket from your trunk. 235 00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:55,860 Oh, yeah, the old scratchy trunk blanket. 236 00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:57,506 Bring it, use it once, then put it back 237 00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:59,130 in the trunk for the rest of your life. 238 00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:01,932 Ah, yeah. 239 00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:04,001 Okay, this is already hurting my hip. 240 00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:05,281 We could probably just stand. 241 00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:06,704 No, no, we got the blanket. 242 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,384 All right, let's try sideways on the elbow. 243 00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:10,475 Ow, no, that hurts. Scratchy blanket. 244 00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:12,510 Okay, all right, let's try sitting on my knees. 245 00:10:12,579 --> 00:10:13,878 Okay, that's good. 246 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,213 Nope. Uh... 247 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:17,260 Lean back on the palms until they get weird creases. 248 00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:18,316 No. 249 00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:19,517 All the way back? Nope. 250 00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:21,019 Flat-back, craning to look up? 251 00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:22,253 Terrible. 252 00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:24,789 Balls of feet butt-hover like a Chinese guy? Nope. 253 00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:26,624 All right, standing it is. 254 00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:36,368 I got to tell you, Bri, I am a big fan of sundresses. 255 00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:38,581 Oh, yeah. Every woman looks good in a sundress. 256 00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:41,706 Yeah, just waiting for a big gust of wind, right? Huh? 257 00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:42,807 Good gust of wind? 258 00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:44,609 See a couple fannies? Huh? 259 00:10:44,678 --> 00:10:46,811 Give a little bare-hand slap, a little cup? 260 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,257 Yep, that's what we're here for. 261 00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:49,692 Okay, Stewie. Yeah. 262 00:10:49,716 --> 00:10:51,394 Just give it a little test tap, see where she's at. 263 00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:53,098 Then you're pushing all up on that fanny. 264 00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:55,353 Whoa, Stewie. Yeah. Yeah, "whoa." 265 00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:56,755 Who's this Stewie, huh? 266 00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,267 Yeah. I'll tell you who this Stewie is. 267 00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:01,292 This is day-drinking Stewie. On the patrol for fannies. 268 00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:03,628 Fanny! Yeah! Fanny! 269 00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:04,729 What are you looking at? 270 00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:11,268 All right, finished a chapter. 271 00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:14,706 Time to reward myself with a slow, relaxing yank. 272 00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:17,275 Let's see. What will it be today? 273 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,176 Time to spin the Wheel of Porn. 274 00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:25,383 All right, foot fetish it is. 275 00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:30,455 Wait a minute. 276 00:11:39,966 --> 00:11:41,332 Oh, my God. 277 00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:47,972 Mom. Dad. Meg is doing foot porn. 278 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,740 What? Oh, my God. 279 00:11:49,809 --> 00:11:52,343 Peter, our little girl is doing pornography. 280 00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:53,489 We got to stop her. 281 00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:54,778 What the hell? 282 00:11:54,847 --> 00:11:56,927 There's an animated version of you and me doing it. 283 00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:58,283 Who put that on there? 284 00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:00,830 Brian. Stewie. 285 00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:01,974 Hey, how's it going, man? 286 00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,454 Uh, I don't know. 287 00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:06,658 Four different bands said we've been a great crowd, so you tell me. 288 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,237 Yeah, I've had a pretty good day, too. 289 00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:09,839 People keep passing out and barfing, 290 00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:11,340 and that barf is, like, free to take. 291 00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:12,597 Awesome. 292 00:12:12,666 --> 00:12:14,543 Plus, I met the most amazing girl. 293 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,044 Well, I'll tell you this, she's got to be 294 00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:17,446 the second most amazing girl here, 295 00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:20,337 because I've met the most amazing girl. 296 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:21,906 Oh, here she comes now. 297 00:12:21,974 --> 00:12:23,942 Hey, Stewie. Hey, Brian. 298 00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:25,376 Oh, crap. 299 00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:28,546 Wait, how can a music festival chick like two guys? 300 00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:34,997 As soon as Meg walks through that door, 301 00:12:35,021 --> 00:12:36,832 I am giving her a piece of my mind. 302 00:12:36,856 --> 00:12:38,389 Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. 303 00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:40,658 Wait, you've been upstairs the whole time? 304 00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:42,572 I figured all that clomping around up there 305 00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:44,507 was Junior Gorg from Fraggle Rock. 306 00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:46,275 Is that what you really thought? 307 00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:48,065 I did. I really did. 308 00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:50,213 Meg, we know you've been doing foot porn, 309 00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:52,370 and that is going to stop right now. 310 00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,739 Please. Don't try to act like you guys care. 311 00:12:54,807 --> 00:12:56,007 Oh, thank God. 312 00:12:57,611 --> 00:12:58,643 Peter! 313 00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:00,077 Meg, we do care. 314 00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:01,890 And we're just trying to protect you. 315 00:13:01,914 --> 00:13:02,981 Are you kidding? 316 00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:05,049 All you've done is make fun of anybody 317 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,018 possibly thinking I could be a model. 318 00:13:07,087 --> 00:13:08,853 Well, guess what, there are people 319 00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:10,888 out there who think I'm beautiful. 320 00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:12,990 That's my ride. 321 00:13:13,059 --> 00:13:16,427 I'm going to a big party they're throwing in my honor. 322 00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:20,096 Meg, don't you dare walk out that door, or you're grounded. 323 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:29,373 Oh, my God! 324 00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:31,909 I can't believe our daughter's a porn star! 325 00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:33,678 Well, porn actress. 326 00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:36,586 Let's not go crazy on the Christmas letter, okay, Lois? 327 00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:44,767 Peter, we got to do something. 328 00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:47,669 Our daughter just left for some sleazy foot porn party. 329 00:13:47,693 --> 00:13:50,195 I feel like we're getting invited to less stuff nowadays. 330 00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:53,431 We got to find out where that party is and get Meg out of there. 331 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,666 You're right. 332 00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:55,833 God, what happened? 333 00:13:55,902 --> 00:13:58,369 It seems like just yesterday she was born. 334 00:13:58,437 --> 00:14:00,471 Mr. Griffin, would you like to cut the cord? 335 00:14:00,539 --> 00:14:02,706 Sure. 336 00:14:02,776 --> 00:14:05,876 Okay, that wasn't the cord, and now you've got a girl. 337 00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:09,880 ♪ Oh, Josephine ♪ 338 00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:15,186 Okay, Brian, so we like the same girl. 339 00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:17,166 There's no reason we can't be gentlemen about this. 340 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:20,658 Absolutely. Our friendship is more important than any one girl. 341 00:14:20,726 --> 00:14:22,104 Hey, guys. I got us all some food. 342 00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:23,428 Oh, great. 343 00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:25,174 Just mash Brian's pill in there and 344 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,842 smear it on the grass, he's good to go. 345 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:30,068 Oh, no, he's kidding. I'm perfectly capable of taking a pill. 346 00:14:45,117 --> 00:14:46,896 Yep, down the hatch. Now, Stewie, 347 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:50,154 would you like your food served to you as an airplane or a magic bus? 348 00:14:51,357 --> 00:14:53,290 You two are so cool and funny. 349 00:14:53,359 --> 00:14:54,970 Brian especially. 350 00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:57,506 Did you happen to read his tweet about jumbo shrimp? 351 00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:59,241 Just a little heads-up. 352 00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:02,077 Stewie still screams, "What's happening?" when he gets an erection. 353 00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:04,301 Oh, this is nice, spending this time together. 354 00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:07,115 Brian, why don't you show Cassandra your Boost Mobile phone? 355 00:15:07,139 --> 00:15:08,205 Stewie has AIDS. 356 00:15:08,274 --> 00:15:10,575 Guys, guys, there's no reason to fight. 357 00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:12,220 I don't have AIDS, by the way. 358 00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:15,679 In fact, I was thinking maybe we could all have a three-way. 359 00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:17,247 A... 360 00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:18,415 A three-way? 361 00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:20,930 I'm in. Yeah, totally. 362 00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:23,187 Really? Cool. Let's go. 363 00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:27,202 I'm serious, man. I'm doing this. 364 00:15:27,226 --> 00:15:28,426 I am, too. Bring it on. 365 00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:30,339 Don't doubt me, Brian. I never back down. 366 00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:33,130 Like Boppo, the inflatable punching clown. 367 00:15:33,199 --> 00:15:34,932 Ah, you're in big trouble, Boppo. 368 00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:36,934 We told you to take a dive in the third round, 369 00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:38,569 and you just kept popping back up. 370 00:15:38,637 --> 00:15:39,737 Let him have it, boys. 371 00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:47,078 He's pretty tough, boss. 372 00:15:47,146 --> 00:15:48,212 I'll handle this. 373 00:15:49,548 --> 00:15:51,682 Whoa! Boppo. Take it easy there, pal. 374 00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,462 We was just playin' with ya. 375 00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:55,019 Yeah, we didn't mean no harm. 376 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,438 Boppo, we've got the place completely surrounded. 377 00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:05,462 We all know how it's going to end. 378 00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:07,291 Come out with your hands up, lad. 379 00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:16,174 ♪ Bat us around 380 00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:19,577 ♪ But we land on our feet... ♪ 381 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:21,289 All right, let's lay some ground rules here. 382 00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:23,258 You take her left side, I'll take her right. 383 00:16:23,282 --> 00:16:24,648 What? 384 00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:26,757 Wait, how about top and bottom, or front and back? 385 00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,230 How about I take head, shoulders, 386 00:16:28,254 --> 00:16:30,165 knees and toes, knees and toes? 387 00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:31,522 Okay, you can have those. 388 00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:34,258 You just gave away the store, mister. 389 00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:35,726 You guys ready? 390 00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:38,729 'Cause I am. 391 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,800 Ah! What's happening? 392 00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:48,772 Is this foreplay? 393 00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:50,808 She's dead. 394 00:16:50,876 --> 00:16:52,621 I think she had a drug overdose. 395 00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:55,046 Well, just 'cause she's out doesn't mean the party's over. 396 00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:56,981 Yes, it does. We gotta get out of here. 397 00:16:57,050 --> 00:17:01,152 What? We can't just leave her. She had nobody. No family, no friends. 398 00:17:01,220 --> 00:17:02,653 Really? How do you know all that? 399 00:17:02,721 --> 00:17:03,955 "All that"? 400 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,467 You said you were in love with her. 401 00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:06,936 Did you not talk to her at all? 402 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:08,392 No, I talked to her. 403 00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:10,194 I know she liked 404 00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,964 tents and cocaine. 405 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,967 Oh, oh, and how she loved bleeding from her nose. 406 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,401 You're a monster. 407 00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:19,871 You're even worse than Dr. Finkelstein. 408 00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:22,073 Igor, did you get the body? 409 00:17:22,141 --> 00:17:23,507 Yes, master. 410 00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:24,909 You know what to do. 411 00:17:29,015 --> 00:17:30,414 It's a five! 412 00:17:30,482 --> 00:17:31,515 A five! 413 00:17:38,992 --> 00:17:40,369 Oh, hey, guys. What's going on? 414 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,353 Quagmire, we need your help finding Meg. 415 00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,896 I would love if you guys would just call first. 416 00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:47,531 She's run off to some foot-fetish porn party. 417 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,160 We figured you might know where it is. 418 00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:50,935 You know, 'cause of your boners and stuff. 419 00:17:51,004 --> 00:17:54,705 Foot-fetish party, huh? Well, come on in. 420 00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:58,042 Let me just fire up the Internet here. Gonna go to Ask Beeves. 421 00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:02,024 Sorry, Joe's Wi-Fi is really slow today. 422 00:18:02,048 --> 00:18:03,815 Ugh, I know, it's the worst. 423 00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:05,416 We also use his cable TV. 424 00:18:06,186 --> 00:18:07,284 I like Joe. 425 00:18:07,353 --> 00:18:08,552 Here we go. 426 00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:11,255 Oh, it's a busy night. There's a black-tie event. 427 00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:13,083 That's all black and Thai chicks. 428 00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:15,592 Okay, this must be Meg's thing. 429 00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:17,695 It says there's a shoe-kake party tonight. 430 00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,663 "Shoe-kake"? What's that? 431 00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:21,232 It's 50 guys, one foot. 432 00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:22,499 Oh, my. 433 00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:29,585 All right, come on, Stewie. Let's get this over with. 434 00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:30,908 Well, slow down, Brian. 435 00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:32,843 Everyone deserves a proper burial. 436 00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:35,646 Why do you think we've been saving that VCR box in the basement? 437 00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:37,081 Oh, fine. 438 00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:40,450 Um, Cassandra, I'm sorry your life was so screwed up 439 00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:43,098 that you almost had a three-way with a dog and a baby, 440 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,722 but your life was not without meaning. 441 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:47,925 I left the comfort of the classroom 442 00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:50,327 to experience a world beyond books, 443 00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:52,429 and thanks to you, I did. 444 00:18:52,498 --> 00:18:55,266 Also, I loaned you $40 for that Lumineers T-shirt, 445 00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:57,854 and you said you'd pay me back, so I'm gonna take your bra. 446 00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:05,020 Wow. Lot of people OD at these things. 447 00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:06,276 Yeah. 448 00:19:06,345 --> 00:19:08,445 Let's go trade this bra for a couple of Gatorades. 449 00:19:22,461 --> 00:19:24,595 All right, you guys, before we begin, 450 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:27,465 let's sing the Japanese national anthem. 451 00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:29,311 Everybody stop what you're doing! 452 00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,168 Yeah, or else we'll... 453 00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:32,870 That one's wearing goggles. 454 00:19:32,938 --> 00:19:35,640 Mom? Dad? What are you doing here? 455 00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:37,307 I'll tell you what we're doing here. 456 00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:39,610 We're protecting our little girl from a lot of guys 457 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:42,012 who I oddly recognize from Best Buy. 458 00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:45,416 Listen, Meg, your mom and I are sorry for always putting you down. 459 00:19:45,485 --> 00:19:46,717 That's right. 460 00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:49,520 You shouldn't have to do porn to feel appreciated. 461 00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:50,620 Really? 462 00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:51,721 Of course, Meg. 463 00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:53,457 We love you, sweetheart. 464 00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:55,059 And you deserve better than this. 465 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,027 Thanks, you guys. 466 00:20:00,566 --> 00:20:01,932 Can we please go home? 467 00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:03,266 Yeah, let's get out of here. 468 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,636 Not so fast. 469 00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:07,371 I promised these men a foot. 470 00:20:12,278 --> 00:20:15,046 What did you say is going on, on the other side of this curtain? 471 00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:17,325 Don't worry about it. Just keep watching Tower Heist. 472 00:20:17,349 --> 00:20:19,450 This crew pulling off a robbery? 473 00:20:19,518 --> 00:20:20,551 Good luck. 474 00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:28,703 Well, Brian, thanks for going on that little adventure with me, 475 00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:31,628 but I think I've learned quite enough from the real world for now. 476 00:20:31,697 --> 00:20:34,109 I guess you're ready for the purple room after all, huh? 477 00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:37,334 Yes. In fact, today was my first day. 478 00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:40,471 I saw that teacher at the concert with her boob out. 479 00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:42,974 She was, um, popular. 480 00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:44,975 Mom, Dad, thanks for keeping me 481 00:20:45,044 --> 00:20:46,910 from doing something I'd always regret. 482 00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:48,512 Of course, sweetie. 483 00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,214 We love you, and we would never 484 00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:51,848 let anything bad happen to you. 485 00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:57,454 Peter, we got a problem. 486 00:20:57,523 --> 00:21:00,224 Somehow my foot got pregnant watching Tower Heist.